Finding breathe, finding being
Since I declared my learning to swim goal, I have a renewed commitment to spending time in and around the pool. I say ‘in and around’ the pool because while I go in at about 2pm and leave the locker room an hour later, I spend probably about 15 - 20 minutes of that time swimming; and even that may be a generous estimate.
Getting into the pool is not a problem. It’s breathing while I’m in it. Specifically, breathing with my face in the water. It looks really easy and effortless when I watch others doing their laps, and it’s great to observe so I can see what I’m working towards.
When I’m in, I’m thinking about all the ideal adjustments and this could be a part of my obstacle. When I’m following my thoughts, I am not following my breathe. And if there is anything I’ve learned in acting and voice classes…it is to allow the breathe to lead. Thoughts dictate, “breathe in, relax the neck, take it slow, 1 easy quiet stroke, twist to the side, look ahead, breath out, kick with soft knees, soft quiet stroke, turn head for a breath.” Breathe gives life to motion. Since I have a tendency to be ultra conscientious on proper technique as I’m learning, I just swim half a length of the pool and then turn around. Adding the fear factor of water depth that is beyond my vertical reach can be overwhelming, so easy-does-it as I warm-up my brain and nerves to do a lap.
After I reassure my body that I can, indeed, control my breathing in water, I go for one lap from one end to the other end. And I do this by telling myself, “Slow is good. You’ve done this before. And, if you panic in the deeper end, just flip onto your back and breath.” When I get to the other end, I usually stop and hang off the wall while catching my breath and then head back. It sounds very simple, perhaps, but it is actually really gratifying to make it from one end of the pool to the other end of the pool without an interruption of fear. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel fear in varying degrees as I’m moving along, it just means that I didn’t believe the fear and let it escalate, that time around. That is my version of being in the pool.
Being around the pool, that’s cool too. It’s kind of neat seeing how people move in the water and then when out of the water. So much focus is required while swimming that it is almost impossible to be watching other people while swimming. This makes it distinctly different from other activities like yoga, running, or any activity on land, basically. There is such a lovely lightness, it seems, when people are in the water that is peaceful. People seem to just be in their own movement. But when people get out of the water, there is a subtle to obvious shift that seems to indicate the return of the body image gremlins. If almost all of us are insecure about how our body appears, then essentially, we are just afraid of other people who are also incredibly insecure about the same thing.
“That’s silly!” my 4 year old neice would say.
Another great discovery in and around the pool is the usual peacefulness. I really appreciate that the pool is an indoor fitness environment without tv’s and monitors and loud music. Just my body moving in water….aaahhhh.
