I just forgot
All day, I was looking forward to my swim. I had two consecutive days of swimming mover than 4 laps. In fact, Monday was exceptional because I practiced in the water for about 40 minutes. So today, I was all excited to repeat and build upon improvements. I get to the locker room, roll out my towel and realize, “UH! I forgot my swimsuit.” I have done fitness studio classes without my runners but somehow, I don’t think it would have gone so well to swim in my thong and tank top.
A woman a few lockers away started to curse herself out because she forgot her runners. And she started to call herself stupid just for forgetting. I thought that was sad. I find that word offensive even when other people use it on themselves. When we were younger we weren’t scolded for using words like “fuck” or “shit”, but words like “idiot” and “stupid” were never to be used. They were considered the most cruel terms to lash at others. And this confused me because it seemed like the rest of the world (at the time, teachers and classmates) were okay with using “idiot” and “stupid”. From where I stand now, I see that my mom was right.
I had fun despite not going for a swim. I revisited the empty hardwood studio, which I so very much enjoy for movement. And as a result of my forgetfulness, I also discovered that I can do a headstand for about 30 seconds! I think I can probably go longer but there were others so close to me that I didn’t want to push my limit and hit anyone.
