Home > Down the Rabbit Hole > Who are you? What are you creating?

Who are you? What are you creating?

I’ve taken on work these past two days through the fabulous recruitment group, McNeill Nakamoto, and am having a great time.  As a result of the increased prospects, however, I’ve dropped my work with Kidstage and I had my last, and only second class doing drama with 7-11 yr olds.  Today, I was in a corporate setting from 9.45am – 3pm and then with children playing games from 4-5pm; an interesting contrast and one that raises questions worth exploring.  Questions like, when does learning stop being fun and why?  When I facilitate and engage in play, it’s quite a lot of work for everyone involved.  Play is our highest and first form of research… of learning and discovery.  So why do some of us not consider work to be playful?  Does it really serve us to wrap up our worth in our salary and job performance?  What I see is that we learn this at a very young age; our self-perception and the concept of what constitutes our self-worth.

Even at the age of 2, my neice has emotional reactions about not being able to find a book that she wants.  Why does she worry so much, she’s 2!  She grows anxious as she searches alone and then she asks for my help.  Then she reassures me and herself by saying, “It’s somewhere.”  She is still playful at this point and we look under things and go around the house.  She exercises logic and comforting strategies to keep herself grounded in the search.  She wants that book and I know we won’t get her to eat dinner until it’s found and thoroughly read.  As the book does not appear in all the familiar places, she grows more concerned and her playfulness, her engagement with the process of discovering different possibilities lessens and she says, “Jea, where is it?”  She just wants me to give it to her at this point.  This is human nature, it is not learned….we want the easy route.  In fact, much of our innovation and path finding is in pursuit of an “easier way.”

The closer I study this in human behaviour and experiences, the more I see the fragility of our condition and our power as a creative force in this world. 

Today I was a receptionist with a huge debt for an education that wasn’t at all necessary to do the tasks I was performing and yet, I was learning and I felt that I was adding to my self-worth because the other way of seeing myself in that role. The perception I chose was choosing that role as a learning experience, not a default to circumstances.  The power of being a beginner is not in what we do, but in rediscovering and conquering the fears we have about being “wrong”, making “mistakes”, not being “good enough” or “smart enough”…not having enough and basically, not “being” enough.  I will never be enough. Enough what….Human?   This logic pleases me and gives me a good laugh.  Now, I really get to enjoy being me, and the honest learning can occur, from which the expansive creations will emerge.  I am Jea.  I create possibilities….and I have fun doing it.

Categories: Down the Rabbit Hole Tags:
  1. June 12th, 2010 at 20:03 | #1

    I love it!

  1. No trackbacks yet.