Posts Tagged ‘courage’

10 Ways to Be Who You Are

February 4th, 2011 No comments

“10 Ways to Tell A Guy You’re Interested”

That’s the title of an article in a magazine that a girl sitting in-front of me was reading on the bus; I was on my way home from watching The Social Network movie.

Ten ways!?!  That sounds exhausting!  Why not simplify and do just 1 method of, mmm, I don’t know…

…Say hello, and tell him, “I’m interested!”  Done.

“In what?” he might ask, (if he’s one who needs specifics)

And depending on your willingness to be direct, you might respond with “You.”

Contrary to the title of this post, I’m not going to write about how I think people can be who they already are.  I will offer, however, some questions worth exploring:

“Are you free to be who you feel you are inside?” Do you need 10, five or maybe 20 different ways to express your complexity of fears and cover-ups?  I have spent so much time figuring out how to behave in the manner that would get me what I want, instead of just flat-out asking for it.  And worse, I have spent just as much time hiding behind pleasantries and heartless smiles to avoid having to speak the truth of my thoughts and experiences.  Recognizing now that many successful people actually have many enemies and slanderers tells me that I haven’t been selfish or bitchy enough.  Actually, I didn’t need that recognition to know that, it has been suggested by a few.

“What is your criteria for friendship?” Your criteria, not what a magazine lists as your “shoulds”.  I put the word friends in parenthesis because now, being available as online profiles, most of my friendship interactions are happening online in social networks and I’m left wondering a lot, “Who are my friends?”  “What does it look like or mean to be a friend?” Because really, just because I want to be someone’s friend and they accept my request online doesn’t mean that they actually will or want to interact with me.  The fact that I have over 300 facebook(fb) friends and did zero face-to-face socializing this week is hard proof of that!

Recently I got a friend request from someone who was a friend of a fb-friend and I wasn’t really sure what the point of it was.  It was from a male and sadly, I’m largely skeptical of invitations coming from males.  I’m not proud of that, but it’s true.  Especially when it’s online from someone I haven’t met before.  Hopefully if my fb-friends and friends read this, those who are unsure of their friendly relations with me will ask, those who don’t ask, probably weren’t and those who know won’t have to.

“Who would you call if you knew that they would be happy to hear from you?”

“To whom would you say it, if saying no were valued and respected?”

“What would you wear if you were the trend-setter?”

Those are just 5 questions.  The second set of 5 (to make it the classic 10) would be the same questions, answered at a time when you feel like you have nothing and nobody to lose.

One of my favourite quotes replays in my mind (spotted on a tweet):

It takes courage to grow up and be who you are.  – e.e. cummings

The Courage of a Public Voice

January 15th, 2011 No comments

I returned from viewing the award-winning film, “The King’s Speech” for the second time in two weeks. I rarely do that, view a film in the cinema house more than once, but I was happy to with this one for a few reasons:

i. It addresses the manners of a lasting male friendship, something I rarely see expressed or demonstrated, and certainly not as eloquently or witty as between Colin Firth as King George VI and his speech therapist, Lionel Logue played by Geoffrey Rush. The relationship between the two lead characters flows like a waltz, dipping down into the private, Logue masterfully coaching the King on the sensitive matters of his speech and his related fears, allowing the King’s public voice to emerge more smoothly, sweeping across the world via the invention of radio, and rising up to unify a people during war.

ii. The story is about a remarkable historical figure of Royal status and my background could be no more opposite or different than his, and yet I relate to the King’s struggles to offer his voice publicly and taking his place as a leader. We get to see the transition of Firth’s character go from the status of Duke to King in the matter of an hour, and I am left with a new perspective on what it means to cultivate a public voice. This beautifully told story of a husband, a son, a father, a friend and a very courageous learner who overcomes his stammer, will and no doubt has, inspired so many to find the courage to be public beyond the our current comforts.

iii. It has two fun and brilliantly performed scenes of Rush’s character reciting Shakespeare.

iv. This second time around I took more notice of how exquisite Jennifer Ehle is in all her scenes.

v. I often find stories about monarchs difficult to relate to, so the accessible friendly nature of learning about this slice of history is delightful and much appreciated.

vi. The pictures are stunning, colourful and heartfelt, and the words and music move us elegantly through a range of emotions that is exhilerating.

I could keep listing reasons why I whole-heartedly enjoy this film, but that would be nowhere nearly as fun as you going to see it and then coming back to comment here about what you thought.